Do you really need to be radically positive?

Brad Matthews personal category

I’ve seen a lot of talk recently about not being negative around others-ever. Talk that champions hiding negative thoughts and feelings from others and being positive all the time.

But that’s not authentic, that’s not real. Life isn’t always positive after positive.

There’s something poetic about that episode of Rick and Morty where those memory-implanting aliens could be revealed as fake friends because the protaginists only had positive memories about them. They knew who was real because there were some not so nice memories too.

You cannot present your authentic self without some degree of negativity or pain. Without feeling less-than-stoked-about-the-general-vibe, at least on certain topics.

Establishing a connection with someone on a basis of radical positivity lacks integrity. I’d rather forgoe an opportunity because someone thinks I’m not positive enough, than compromise my ability to be myself and respond how I truly feel.

There’s one exception though. When it comes to mindset, when it comes to attitude and the willingness to do and take action. In such cases there can be little room for negativity. Defeatist attitudes, limiting mindsets, victim mentality, these are what I’d call ‘ultra negative’. It’s pretty hard to make a come back if people see you as ultra negative.

It’s because those attitudes and mindsets are so toxic. They’re completely antithetical to productivity. That’s what tarnishes perception in the minds of others-not simply expressing negative thoughts or feelings from time to time.

What hurts is being so caught up in the negative that you ooze it out your pores. Likewise if you appear unbalanced, and especially if it impacts your productivity.

The best way to remedy this is to identify what exactly you hate and start working to build something better or help others already doing so. Criticise by creating as the smart chaps at Praxis say.

If you do that, you won’t have to worry. Share positives. Share negatives. Keep it real.

Do that and people will come to know the real you more deeply. They’ll like you for being a relatable human being. Chances are you’ll even build trust faster due to your honesty.

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